What I demand?

My demand is to control suicide, my demand is to let youth be young generation.

I am young, full of enthusiasm, full of passion, full of awareness, little awkward, less religious, influenced by western perception, trapped by thoughts, enhanced by technology, careless of others thought. But ultimately I am a youth generation blooming in this garden of technology. I hold a thought that is different from my parents, I am sometimes addicted by modernization. But I carry an existence. I got a body composed of millions of cells, functioned by dozens organs, controlled by master brain and my blood is also red as you. So I am also a human and little animal as you are. I see things, feels things, understand things, though I don’t react much. But at least I hold sense. So please accept me as a part of this society, this surrounding.

I am not a terrorist, I will not hijack any Boeing to address my demands. I believe in peace and mutual understanding. But that doesn’t mean that you can ignore my innocence. I can be violent and fire up this entire world with my ideas, thought and anger. Still I hope that day never comes.

I believe in some ideology. But that doesn’t mean that I am either a bling follower of communism, socialism, capitalism. I believe in existence of all these ideologies within me. What I demand is to keep me in mainstream leading position not in the protest, I am not your party carter. What I am is an young entrepreneur seeking business terminals, a medical student seeking less politically influenced medical seat, a village boy seeking opportunities to serve my motherland, a young women seeking safe night travel, a young so called low caste lad seeking equality in reality rather than in constitution, s young citizen seeking stable country. What I demand is proper value of my vote.

I demand attention. But that can’t clarify my thinking process, that don’t prove that I am an attention seeker. It’s true that I don’t like to seat in the first bench, I don’t understand the laws of physics, Literature is difficult to understand and history feels hard to remember. But I request not to underestimate me not as a top student. I am bright like those top students jut I need a little bit sunlight. Teachers make me bright like a diamond, you be the sun and I receive every part of that positive energy. But don’t burn me down in terms of my terminal grades. One single piece of paper is really not enough to rank my future. What I demand is proper schooling not scolding, what I want is proper teaching not teasing, I just demand positive inspiration. I wish I could be another great person and eradicate the feeling that degree don’t teach you to live life. I have faith in you teachers.

I know life is a choice but death is the decision. But I am still compelled to hang myself, commit suicide. I enjoy enjoying, I love loving, and live living. I know greenery around me, I know the happiness, I inspire myself to face obstacles, I comfort myself to challenge my comfort zone, I am not weak by thought or action, I know I possess a strong guts. But every time I see me taking excessive sleeping pills or burning down myself, I just don’t leave this physical world, I raise a big question to this civilization, “Who was responsible for my self-destruction, who else were the one to put rope in my neck, who else participated in planning of my death?” I believe life is harsh. But I wasn’t that much foolish to kill myself. I did it because you compelled me. Suicide was the lone option left for me, there’s no another option else. Aint you paved this path for me? I dare you to answer this and this time I demand your loyalty.

Lastly I plead not to let another young blood to be such harsh on himself. This is my final demand and more of request. Dear! Society, political leaders, teachers and parents, don’t let me fall of the ground. Please let me stand around me.